Most of us find it challenging to communicate with people whose styles and opinions are very different from our own. Learning to listen respectfully and attentively to coworkers and employees, regardless of the cultural or personality differences, is a critical skill that should be developed by anyone who is motivated to achieve their full potential.
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People*, Steven Covey famously wrote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to respond.” I know I suffered from this limitation early in my career and it took focus and practice to break the habit. I admired leaders who were able to stay in the moment and block out their other distractions while offering their full attention to whoever they were speaking with. They didn’t just politely wait for a pause, knowing what they were about to say. They internalized what they heard and allowed it to impact what they said next.
As we learn the art of active listening, we must also pay attention to the cultural barriers that might otherwise lead us to the wrong conclusions. The Culture Map* is a brilliant book by Erin Meyer, an American professor at INSEAD Business School in Paris. It should be read carefully and more than once by anyone who is working as part of a multicultural team. Meyer describes the eight scales she uses to map to world’s cultures. One of these is the “communicating” scale. It defines low-context cultures on the left and high-context cultures on the right. Countries like the United States, Australia, and Canada are positioned on the far left. They use very low context communications that are explicit and direct in structure. Others, like China, Japan, Korea, and Indonesia, are on the far right, utilizing more implicit and indirect techniques to communicate true meaning. It isn’t surprising that there is often a communication gap between American and Japanese, or Canadian and Chinese colleagues.
In one example, Meyer highlights a Japanese man who explains the importance of reading the air in order to pick up what is unspoken. He says that it happens naturally when Japanese people communicate with each other. Unfortunately, there is no such context in English-speaking cultures. She also references a Chinese employee who is trying to make an important point in a meeting, waiting patiently to be called upon. He watches his American colleagues jump in one after the other but finds no opportunity to jump in himself. Meyer stresses how important it is to consider the relative positioning of one culture to another on a particular scale. Leaders must be aware of the size of the gap in order to minimize its impact. In regards to communications, listening for silence is just as important as listening to the loudest voice in the room.
When I was a manager at IBM, there was a South Korean engineer on my team who was technically brilliant but extremely shy. He had strong ideas but he wasn’t comfortable sharing them without prompting. I eventually learned to read his facial expressions as I knew he found it easier to share his thoughts when he was explicitly called upon. When he spoke, it was obvious that the rest of the team found his views to be unique and insightful. Over time, they learned to take pauses during heated discussions to ensure he was given the opportunity to share his views. They knew how clever he was and many made a of point of spending more one-on-one time with him as they got to know him better, particularly when he didn’t speak up during a meeting. We became a much stronger team when everyone learned out how listen to him attentively and to communicate with him effectively.
When we work in multicultural teams, listening with the intent to understand requires a broader level of knowledge and perception. Not only must we pay full attention during discussions and block out our other distractions, but we must understand the cultural differences to avoid concluding that an agreement was reached when one never was. As a leader, it is important to facilitate meetings such that they are never dominated by a single person or culture, and in a way that everyone always feels fully heard and respected.
Adapted excerpt from the recently released book, Decoding Your STEM Career*, published by Business Expert Press. For over thirty years, Pete Devenyi led a storied career in technology, both globally and in Canada. He led enterprise software at RIM/BlackBerry for 9 years and was Senior Vice President of Global Products and Solutions at Dematic, one of the largest warehouse robotic automation providers in the world. For more information, visit petedevenyi.com.
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