For many people, the greatest joy they’ll ever experience in life is becoming a parent. When the pregnancy test returns positive, your adoptive child is placed in your arms, or you transition from foster parent to adoptive parent, the happiness keeps coming. Along with all the joy, though, comes plenty of stress.
From everyday responsibilities juggled with parenthood to major crises, the curveballs can induce anxiety in people that never dealt with anxiety before. There are ways you can manage the stress that comes with parenthood – the first is recognizing that your anxious feelings and racing thoughts are normal. Beyond that, try implementing the below tips to roll with the punches without letting them consume you.
Comparison is the thief of joy
With most of us on social media, it’s tempting to compare yourself to the parent who’s doing it all in your Instagram feed. It doesn’t seem to matter that we all know social media is terrible for our mental health, that comparison is the thief of joy or that what we see online is a carefully curated snippet of someone’s real life.
When we compare ourselves to that mother who makes a homemade meal three times a day while keeping a spotless house, the dad who’s always at the park or playing sports with his kids, or the mom who lost all the weight she gained during pregnancy in one month, we’re robbing ourselves of the pride we should have in our accomplishments. No one has it all together, no matter how it looks online, so limit your expectations and stop comparing.
Perfectly planned
“The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” There is plenty of truth in the power of expecting the unexpected. Take your birth plan, for example. Plenty of couples come out with a meticulously laid plan for how they want the delivery of their children to go when in reality, only a tiny fraction of those people end up with the birth they envisioned.
It’s not only wise but incredibly beneficial to invest in some planners and keep a calendar (and share it with co-parents and guardians) as it can keep things in your and your family’s life streamlined. However, there is power in also planning for the unexpected. Recognizing when things go “wrong” that it’s just another piece to the puzzle you need to figure out is much less anxiety-inducing than trying to force things to go the way you want them to. You simply cannot control everything; no one can.
Taking care of yourself
Self-care or self-love are buzz phrases that have been around for a while now and aren’t going anywhere, for a good reason – they’re essential! Taking care of your physical and mental health is one of the best things you can do to reduce anxiety. Implementing healthy habits and adding self-care time is enough to banish anxiety for many parents. Making sure you get plenty of sleep each night may seem easier said than done, but not if you’re prioritizing it. The laundry, the dishes, and other chores can wait. You need sleep. Regular hair cuts or shopping at Target are necessities, not self-care.
Going for a spa day, a kid-free vacation, even skydiving? That’s self-care. Make sure you’re eating a healthy diet and getting regular physical exercise. If you’re struggling with anxiety or other issues, talk to your GP or book a therapist. Well-being requires an integrative approach, so ensure you take care of yourself on every level.
Stay social
Many parents, especially young children, fall into the trap of only interacting with their kids and partner most of the time. It’s easy to lose your sense of self when you’re not interacting with people that don’t need something from you. Staying social is incredibly beneficial to our mental health. Talking to other parents who can relate to your anxiety and stress can be enough to tackle your anxiety issues. Schedule time to get away from your parental responsibilities with a girl’s or guy’s night out and join local organizations to meet new people; if you don’t have much of a social circle, the important thing is to stay connected.
While it’s critical to remember that if you’re dealing with anxiety at levels affecting your ability to complete daily tasks, interfering with your sleep, or any other aspect of well-being, you should seek treatment from a professional. However, these tips are great at handling mild to moderate anxiety. The greatest gift you can give your children is the gift of a healthy, happy, and confident parent.