One thing I enjoy sharing through my writings is looking at how everyday events can provide us with valuable lessons on leadership, workplace interactions, as well as changing how we view our present-day circumstances. It’s for this reason I’m sure many of you won’t be surprised that I want to share with you my thoughts about leadership that were inspired from celebrating Mother’s Day.
As was the case in most households over the past weekend, our house was abuzz with activity surrounding the celebration of a day that honours mothers everywhere. Watching the excitement and intensity my children have for planning and orchestrating the events for Mother’s Day, I realized there are some important connections between mothers and leadership.
Granted, motherhood is not something one thinks about as being a useful role to gain some insights into how to lead others given that the dynamics between a mother and her child are vastly different from that between an employer and their employees. And yet, if we look at this from the perspective of the life lessons we learned as children from our moms, we can see some useful points that can help us better understand how to approach the role of leadership in our organizations.
1. A leader never loses sight of their vision
On any given day, mothers can be found juggling various household chores, hunting down craft supplies for a project their children only remembered today was needed tomorrow, and all the while balancing this against managing the demands of building their careers. And yet, despite all these divergent demands for their attention, mothers never lose sight of the vision they have for their children – of providing a healthy and safe environment where their children can grow and thrive.
Likewise, in the business world, there are many demands made for the attention of leaders. As our mothers have shown us, though, this shouldn’t take our focus away from what’s important or needed for the organization to grow and prosper.
2. A leader demonstrates patience in waiting for the desired outcome
If there’s one thing we all know about mothers is that they can demonstrate a great amount of patience and with good reason. Raising a child is hardly a textbook affair as there’s always something unexpected that will come along and ruin the best-laid plans. Sometimes this is a result of a child not doing what they’re told; other times it can be a child getting sick on the day you have a big presentation to give at work. Whatever the case, mothers have learned to deal with these curve balls as they come at them knowing that their efforts will pay off in the long run.
With businesses regularly focusing on creating and meeting quarterly forecasts, it’s easy to show less patience or interest in efforts that require more long-term thinking and management. And yet, as mothers exemplify so well through their actions, the best things do come to those who wait.
3. A leader encourages their team to be self-sufficient
While much has been written about the maternal instinct to care and protect the young, mothers are also very adept at encouraging their children to become more self-sufficient as they grow up. One need only look at of how mothers go from taking care of their children’s laundry to asking them to clean up their rooms to appreciate the willingness mothers have to see their children embrace the tasks they used to do for their kids as they mature from small children into young adults.
Although the general definition of a leader is someone others follow, the fact is to be a true leader means developing your team members so that over time, they will no longer need your direct support in order to achieve growth and success.
4. A leader knows how to inspire others
When my children started working on the activities they had in mind for Mother’s Day, there was no complaining about time lost from playing or how what they were doing was work. On the contrary, they relished this activity, eagerly mapping out how they were going to place everything and deciding when they’d reveal the surprises they had created for their mom. There was never a question or thought about what was in it for them; instead, their focus was completely on what they could do for their mom to make her have a special day.
Like mothers, it’s not enough for leaders to simply make sure their employees get the day’s work done. Rather, their goal should also be to inspire those they serve to see beyond their own ambitions and needs and follow the example of those in charge in putting others ahead of themselves.
There’s a reason why the celebration of mother’s everywhere happens but once a year as mother’s don’t make the effort and sacrifices they do with the expectation of being showered with home-made gifts, fancy breakfasts, or a dinner out on the town. They don’t do it out of hope of garnering titles or awards to adorn the mantle to show the world how great a mom they are. Instead, mothers are compelled to do what they do simply because they understand that their purpose is to help their children succeed in becoming the best person they can be.
I can’t think of a better example for a child to learn from about the true approach to leadership.
Valid points. Alright so Mothers lead us be the best person we are capable of being, so what is happening in our American society that we do not take over the leadership role when our Mothers get older. Easier to delegate to Senior Living, one of our fastest growing service industries. Last week I read two articles that struck a chord, one in the NY Times about parent abuse, adult children cutting off their parents over some incident. Then there was a great article in the AARP where one son stood up to the challenge to provide senior care while his siblings did not chip in. He indicated: "Amazing how one woman could raise seven children, but seven children can not take care of one senior woman." Sad, a testment to our times. I value my Mom's leadership and feel blessed that she is still around to be my head coach/muse, but also realized it is time for role reversal now, thus I need to lead. My Mom taught me how to lead.
Reading your comment, Jim, I can't help but notice the further parallels between how North American society in general is treating the elderly with the leadership issues facing the business world. In both situations, the focus is very much inward, on what we'd get in return for our efforts, as opposed to recognizing the fact that the only reason our companies/our lives are where they are is because of the support we were given by our employees/mother.
In both cases, we need to reconnect with the importance of valuing those contributions/support as without it, we'd never have attained the successes we've achieved thus far.
Thanks for adding those poignant thoughts to the discussion, Jim.
Tanveer, you point to a number of really good parallels between good leadership and good parenting. And in my post, I expect I do the same. I'm thinking that we look at it this way because it has been our fortunate experience to have had, or to observe, good role models. To Jim's point, I guess the truth is that there will always be good leaders and not so good leaders; good mothers and not so good mothers; good children and not so good children..for a variety of reasons.
For me though, the key to this post is the element of simplicity it offers and in the reminder that leadership, or the potential for it, starts at a very early age through the examples that are set for us.
Well said, Gwyn. And I would add that we continue to build on those lessons we learned about leadership as we grow and spend time as members of the workforce. Indeed, as is the case with most pursuits for knowledge, learning about leadership should be viewed as a journey with no clear ending in sight.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my piece, Gwyn. And I'm glad to see we were both inspired by Mother's Day to share our impressions on the connection between leadership and mothers.
Hi Tanveer! I love reading your posts. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing and inspiring people.
Thanks Katie. I appreciate the kind words and I’m glad to hear you’ve been enjoying the ideas/thoughts I’ve been sharing here on my blog.
Just found this post now and enjoyed reading it. Mothers are so important, the unsung heroines I would say. Fathers can go out to work and come home exhausted claiming to have had a hard day at the office and the commute – whatever. Try being a mom at home bringing up the kids, dealing with school (or homeschooling), lunchboxes, fights, worries, shopping, chores, dinner and maybe, for some of us, fitting in the working from home. Yet we get no pay raises or a salary or promotions for doing the mothering role, even though, IMHO its a lot harder than going out to work.
"A leader demonstrates patience in waiting for the desired outcome." This is very true about patience. If you want something bad enough then you have to be patient and give yourself enough time for it to become a reality….
Frances
"I am at peace because of the way my mother brought me up".. Wonderful post, loved reading it.
Thanks; glad you enjoyed this tribute to mothers and the role they played in teaching us how to be true leaders that serve those around them.
There are many varieties of Moms out there. Just like leaders, mothers are not always perfect and no one way, is right or wrong. What we take and learn from our mothers, good or bad, is up to us at the end of the day. I did not have the greatest relationship with my mom growing up, however, I took slices of what she did and grew from them, helping me develop into who I am today. My mom is reflected in most everything I do. I indirectly learned independence and to trust cautiously. She showed me perseverance and taught me to maintain strength to never give up or give in. Hard work and dedication will lead to eventual success.
A mother can be the best leader in one’s life, regardless of who our mothers are. With the craziness of children as well as normal day to day activities, it is essential to be able to adjust and respond appropriately in stressful situations. Prioritizing and maintaining focus are also great skills many mothers possess, all of which are great attributes to have in the workplace. If leaders were to dedicate the attention and support to their teams that a mother dedicates to her children, there may be an increase in growth and success of that team.
This is so well said, Sarah. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, especially this close to Mother’s Day, a great day to reflect on the impact our moms had on us, and to your point, irregardless of what kind of mom we had. Thanks again for the astute observation, Sarah.