Don’t Get Too Attached

Image courtesy of Mary Jo Asmus.

Today’s piece is a guest post by Mary Jo Asmus.  Mary Jo is a former Fortune 500 executive-turned-president of an executive coaching firm, Aspire Collaborative Services.  Her company works with high potential leaders and senior executives in Fortune 100, government, and non-profit organizations around the world.  You can read more of her insights on leadership and personal development on her blog, Leadership Solutions at Aspire-CS.com.

A few years ago, I took a class to learn to make theatre masks at our local art institute. For some unknown reason, the idea of making a mask was compelling. To capture a “face” – in clay, plaster and neoprene held some fascination for me. Little did I know the impact and learning from this class would apply to the way I approached leadership.

We began the complicated process by using clay as a “negative” for a plaster mold into which neoprene would be poured to make the final product; a mask that could be used on stage by actors.

I love working with clay. It’s cool touch and ability to morph into anything I want has always held some fascination for me. I couldn’t wait to start, and scooped up the clay with gusto, making a mess and enjoying the process. At some point, perfectionism took hold of me; it took an inordinate number of class and non-class hours to create (what I thought) was the final clay mask.

I was happy with what I’d created – a flawless, realistic representation of a face. It looked exactly as I wanted it to. Surely, it was a work of art! Proud of my accomplishment, I showed it to the instructor. He praised my efforts. And then he told me to destroy it and start over.

He explained that although the mask was well-done, it was necessary for me to learn two things. The lessons I learned through this experience have surprising application to leadership:

Don’t get too attached to the way things are: This very wise instructor knew that I was proud and overly fond of to my first attempt at the clay representation. He knew that if I was too attached to this first mask, it would be too easy for me to sit back and enjoy success without pushing myself to greater limits to achieve something that was even better.

Similarly, when a leader becomes too attached to a particular way of doing things, he loses the ability to see something different, improved, and perhaps more innovative. Staying open to the possibility that there is something out there that is superior to the current state is the key to growth, for leaders and for their organizations. Our attitude is what keeps us stagnant, and it is our attitude that can move us forward to something magnificent.

The next time it will be even better: The instructor was so convinced that my next clay mask attempt would be superior, that I had to take him at his word. He was right. With his encouragement, I plunged into the next creation with some enthusiasm and created a work of art that was finer than the original; it hangs on my wall at home today.

Consider your growth as a leader in light of this learning. You’ve grown through trial and error to be the leader you are today. You’ve stopped doing what wasn’t working and tried new things that did. This is the way to creating great leadership.

Never be satisfied with the status quo, in yourself and in others. Continue to look inside and explore what you need to change about yourself; stop doing what isn’t working and begin doing something that will. Expect the best in others; coach them to become even better. You and those around you will grow as a result.